The Mortgage BYOB Program II
Note: this post is a reprise of a post from last October. Now, almost six months later, Tim Geithner, Sec Treas of the new Obama Administration, is promulgating a plan to sell my mortgage for six cents on the dollar to the same Wall Street fatcats who wrecked the economy in the first place. So it is with some irony and emotion that I reiterate my offer to purchase my own mortgage for ten cents on the dollar. I also want the same Gooberment guarantees that Timbo is extending to the fatcats.
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America rejoice! I have hit upon the SOLUTION to all our financial problems!
Introducing: the Mortgage Buy Your Own Back Program!!!!
Mortgagees of America Unite! We can save the economy of the Nation and indeed the Entire World!
The problem, as explained by the Pundits of Wall Street, is that homeowners with mortgages have ruined the credit market. Our mortgages aren’t worth the paper they are written on. The poor, innocent investment banks of New York City and the above-reproach, integrity-managed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have been snookered into buying our bundled mortgages, never suspecting that they are worthless. And now those beneficent and pure institutions are belly-up because they hold that trash paper.
But instead of the US Treasury purchasing that junk, I hereby offer to buy back my own mortgage for ten cents on the dollar!
That’s right, America. Don’t get snookered again. Don’t spend good money chasing bad. You don’t have to buy my worthless mortgage; I will do it myself. And instead of Uncle Sam, NYC, Freddie, and Fannie getting NOTHING AT ALL, I magnanimously offer the grand sum of TEN CENTS ON THE DOLLAR for my own mortgage.
It’s a heavy sacrifice on my part, but as a good and patriotic American I am willing to bear that burden. Furthermore, I call upon all good and patriotic mortgagees of America to join me in SAVING THE ECONOMY FROM TOTAL COLLAPSE.
Please join me in this worthiest of causes. Help to RESCUE AMERICA!!!
Call your Congressperson right now. Tell him, her, or it that you too are willing to give ten cents on the dollar for your otherwise worthless mortgage and thereby lift America out of this terrible crisis and avert a Great Depression! They should, indeed MUST, sign on the Mortgage BYOB Program and enact the enabling legislation TODAY, before it’s too late.
Happy days are here again!!!!
